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The secret diary of a frazzled mum, aged 43 ¼
I’m sure Beyoncé spends her 24 hours in much the same way…
4.30am Wake, startled by a cry from the toddler, or was it the bigger one? Listen, slightly panicked for a second cry. After a few moments decide they were just calling out in their sleep. Drift back off to sleep (if you are lucky).
6am Wake again, this time to a full throttle scream followed by hysterical tears from the youngest. Remember she is teething. Run for the Calpol.
6.05am Try to resettle.
6.06am Try to resettle.
6.08am Try to resettle.
6.10am Conclude that no settling will occur until Calpol kicks in at which point there will be 15 minutes until alarm goes off.
6.11am Put the kettle on and bring youngest to living room to watch Bluey while you drink coffee and try to come alive.
6.45am Bring coffee to partner and wake eldest. Try to find out what she wants for breakfast. Spend 5 minutes explaining that we don’t have crumpets in the house, or raisins, because we are waiting on a food shop delivery. Settle on porridge.
6.55am Finish making breakfast, congratulate self on being so punctual with everything today. Consider getting up at 6am from now on. Remember…
